How to Celebrate Festivus

How to Celebrate Festivus

The Festivus Pole and Traditions

The Festivus Pole and Traditions

Festivus - The Airing of Grievances

Festivus - The Airing of Grievances

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Allen Salkin

New York Times

http://www.festivusbook.com  

Allen Salkin cast industrial films in Hong Kong, wholesaled rubber duckies in Las Vegas, picked oranges in Crete, peddled oil paintings door-to-door in Western Australia, penned stories for New York Magazine, Details, Heeb, Yoga Journal, The Village Voice and other venues, taught Journalism at NYU and MediaBistro.com, and wrote the book "Festivus: The Holiday for the Rest of Us." He is a staff reporter at The New York Times.

How to Celebrate Festivus

Allen Salkin, author of 'Festivus: The Holiday for the Rest of Us', demonstrates how to celebrate Festivus properly.

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Allen Salkin: Hi, I am Allen Salkin, author of 'Festivus: The Holiday for the Rest of Us'. And today I am going to show you how to celebrate Festivus properly. In the following videos we are going to show you how to celebrate the holiday for the rest of us which is going to include the Airing of Grievances and the Feats of Strength before which a Festivus party cannot end. Many people believe Festivus started on an episode of Seinfeld which aired in December 1997. Those people are wrong. In fact Festivus started in ancient Rome, when it was called Festivus. Rome was a civilization, you might know and now is a city in Italy that is in Europe. Throughout the ages Festivus manifested itself starting in Rome and then in Southern California where there was a Snail called a Festivus Festivi.

Festivus next manifested itself in upstate New York in the 1960s, when a name Daniel O'Keefe invented a holiday for his family which he called Festivus. It was a projection of the families inner consciousness on to a bizarre holiday that could fall any time of the year. One of the O'Keefe's keeps children Dan O'Keefe went on to become a writer for Seinfeld. When that episode of Seinfeld aired people saw this crazy holiday and decided immediately within days that they needed to start celebrating it. To properly celebrate Festivus you will need the following items.

A pole preferably aluminum as it has a very high strength-to-weight ratio and a crawlspace to store it in during the non Festivus season or if you go on a hiatus from the celebration of Festivus which is allowed. You will need blank cassette tapes and a recorder to tape audio from your Feats of Strength session. You will need December 23rd off work or at least the right to celebrate new holidays. You may need fake Christmas gifts to give to your co-workers to avoid being driven out of Bayside. You will not need the following, decoration of your pole especially tinsel as it can be very distracting. You will also not need an elaborate female doll for your son, after all this is not Christmas. When celebrating Festivus there are several safety precautions that must be taken. When competing in the Feats of Strength you must be limber and feel adequately defeated from learning how much you disappointed everyone in this past year, in order to be in the correct mindset to end Festivus correctly.

Make sure your pole is adequately secure to the floor to prevent any injury that may occur from dancing, limbering or any other Festivus activity. Another note wherever you erect the pole is always the danger that strippers will come, please be aware. You might ask yourself Allen how do you know so much about Festivus? Well, I am the author of 'Festivus: The Holiday for the Rest of Us'. For Seinfeld Festivus added the aluminum pole which for many who followed the Seinfeld orthodoxy is a crucial part of Festivus. So the first thing we will talk about is the Festivus pole and other Festivus traditions.