What are some things I should avoid during a conversation?

When you are meeting somebody for the first time, conversation can be difficult, it just can happen. There are three key things that we highly recommend you do not do. One is do not talk about a former spouse or a former girlfriend or a former boyfriend. There is nothing that turns somebody off more than someone going on and on and on about their ex. If someone asks you about a previous relationship, then you can say something let s say you have been through a divorce, then you can say something like, Well, you know, we decided it was time to go to our own ways, and leave it at that. You need to answer the question but it can be something that s very general, generic. The first meeting is not the time to go into your life long history and all the gory details about why a previous relationship didn t work. It can be a huge turn off and it is rarely if ever, a positive situation.

Another thing we highly recommend is that you do not turn this into a job interview. So, make sure you are not plastering the other person with questions about themselves. Very often, you are nervous when you are out there for this blind date, this first meeting and when people are nervous they do one of two things. They either talk too much or they don t talk enough. If you are one of those people who talks too much when you are nervous, make sure that you are not plastering the other person with the million questions about themselves.

One of the big criticisms we hear all the time is that, Gosh, it felt like it was a job interview, I felt like I was grilled, I felt like I went through the Spanish inquisition. Make sure that you are trying really hard to get a balance of you being interested in the other person and asking them questions about themselves but also making sure that you are volunteering some information, if the other person isn t asking you questions.

Another thing is you shouldn t talk about your dating experiences. This is a no-win situation. If you have met a lot of people and you have been out dating for a long time, then the person you are meeting could think, Oh Gosh, what's the matter with them, they have met so many people, they must be really picky. Something is wrong that they haven t met someone yet. On the other hand, if you are just starting off in the dating world and you have only met one or two people, the other person can think, Oh, they are just starting off; they haven t met nearly enough people yet. They are not ready for a relationship. They can cross you off for that reason. So, if someone asks you, So, how many people have you met? How long have you been out dating? How long have you been doing online dating? I highly recommend you just say, Well, you know, I have met a handful of people and I am enjoying the process. Leave it simple and don t go into any long explanation about how many people you have met, how you have met them. It is just a no-win situation.