What is flirting?

Host: Are there differences between male flirting and female flirting?

Gloria Macdonald: So again, men and women communicate differently. Women tend to communicate verbally and men communicate non-verbally. So, as women are signals to men that it is okay for them to make the next move, should be non verbal communications. So, there are things like eye contact, smiling, tilting your head.

So for example, let us say you are sitting there, meeting a man for the first time and you are having discussion with him. You can say, So, what do you do for a living? or you can say, So, what do you do for a living? Huge difference, exact same words, difference in body language, difference in head tilt, leaning in and intonation and they are two very different things. If I say, So, what do you do for a living? that could be a job interview, but if I say. So, what do you do for a living? That shows that I am truly interested in him and he is going to pick up that signal.

It is much more open way of communicating. So as women, we need to learn some of those non verbal communication skills. I said the exact same words, I said them differently, different body language, different intonation. So, eye contact, big eyes showing that, Wow! What do you do for a living? rather than, What do you do for a living? So, eyes make a big difference, facial expressions, smile and say, Wow! or not even saying it but like, showing, What do you do for a living? rather than, What do you do for a living? So, the facial expression is really important, leaning forward is really important; tilting your head can show them that you have more interest.

It is a different, more intimate, when you tilt your head rather than just staying straight on. Now, if you are straight on, it might be an intense conversation and that might be okay too, but there are different times to tilt your head rather than being more serious and intent.

Another thing is small hand gesture. So, for example, if you are sitting at a table across from one another and the guy happens to have his arm up on the table, if you just slightly touch his hand or if you are standing besides one another or even facing one another and you put your hand on his arm for just a second, that shows that is communication and those things are all very subconscious to a man but those body movements, body language things are things that men will pick up on to more than you verbalizing different things.

So, you need to learn the different body language that works with men and there are lots of great books out there on flirting.