Host: What is the ninth key value for compatibility?

Gloria MacDonald: The ninth key value or trait is Intellectualism. So the person who is high on intellectualism loves books, they love thoughts, they love ideas, they love a good, intellectual discussion maybe about politics or Greenhouse Gas Effect or something like that. This person may truly love to spend hours browsing through a book store. So its the whole idea of exploring ideas and thoughts and delving into something at a deeper level.

Someone who is high on intellectualism maybe, not necessarily, but they could be quite analytical. The person who is low on intellectualism, generally speaking, really connects more with people and real things rather than ideas and the person who is low on intellectualism, may view the person who is high on intellectualism as someone who is just up there in a lofty, ivory tower and really doesnt get people. So, they feel that that person doesnt get it. They are not connected to the world; they are not connected to the things that are really important. They dont understand and they dont appreciate and they dont value, they dont have the same value as the person who is high on intellectualism. Whereas the person who is high on intellectualism, could look at the person who is low on intellectualism with a great amount of disdain and say, This person just really isnt all that bright and they dont get the importance of ideas and growing and building a brain and a mind, and it's not, intellectualism is not whether someone is smart and intelligent or not. It is the value you put around exploring ideas and thoughts and research.

The person who is high on intellectualism may love to spend hours and hours and hours doing research on the internet, whereas the person who is low on intellectualism is just like, I dont have time to do all that, I need to be out finding experiencing the world hands on. Whereas the person who is high on intellectualism can experience, feels that they can truly experience the world through reading a book and getting thoughts and ideas. So, again, there can be situations where there is a great amount of disdain and disrespect for the person who is on the opposite end of the spectrum.

Again, I can't say enough how for all these things, its innate. Its who we are, its how we are wired and its not that one is good and one is bad, but the person who is high on intellectualism tends to feel that their way is the right way and their way is the good way and its the more intelligent way and the person who is low on intellectualism is going to feel like, but thats stupid. That person can't relate to another human being. All they ever do is read books and they dont know how to live in the world.

So if you start having these two very opposite situations in a relationship, over time, misunderstanding is going to create resentment and disrespect and it will be a challenge.