Host: What would be an example of these twelve key values?

Gloria MacDonald: Just to kind of sum this all up, another experience I have had through my dating service, we introduced Linda to Bill. There was tonnes of instant chemistry and they really ended up caring very deeply for one another, both really wonderful good people. They ended up dating for about eight months, but it turned out that this relationship was a constant nonstop struggle.

Linda was very high on flexibility and Bill was very low on flexibility. So Linda would always show up ten minutes late and it would drive Bill crazy and Bill felt that Linda didn't respect him because she just couldn't show up on time and Linda felt like, It's Saturday. We are just getting together to go for a walk. We haven't missed the beginning of a movie; we haven't missed a reservation, what's the big deal if I'm ten minutes late on a Saturday afternoon? So Linda felt like Bill was always picky, picky, picky and Bill felt like Linda just didn't really respect him. Linda and Bill were also very different on the need for connection. Linda was extremely high on the need for connection so, she really wanted to spend a lot of time with Bill. Linda would have been very happy if they spent five to six nights a week together. Bill really, really needed quiet down time. So Bill really felt that he could only spend one night a week together during the work week and then not even two nights on most weekends.

Over time, it made Linda feel like she was really unloved and unwanted. It wasn't true at all. Bill really cared very much about her and quite loved her, but his need for connection was quite different. He needed quiet down time to re-energize. Linda and Bill were also diametrically opposed on money matters. Linda was a huge spender, Bill was a huge saver. Bill tried really hard to teach Linda how to save, but although Linda tried to learn, it just wasn't her. It didn't work for her. So, there were a whole variety of ways, Linda was a huge extrovert, Bill was a huge introvert, Bill really didn't like large groups of people, he wanted one on one time, Linda enjoyed larger groups of people and she always wanted Bill to meet all of her friends and be involved in her social activities. That just wasn't Bill. So although there was a huge amount of chemistry, really a great, strong, physical attraction and these two people really cared about one another, in the long run it was just not a relationship that was going to work because their values, their traits, their characteristics were just too different. It caused an incredible amount of friction. They spent eight months working and working and working on the relationship and at the end of the day, both of them realized, it just was not meant to be. So even though you can have chemistry and passion, it doesn't mean that a relationship is going to work.