If sex wasn't goal oriented, what would it be like?
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How to Have a Successful Relationship (Part 4): Spice up Love
What does it mean to transform sex into lovemaking?
What is the range of sexual experiences we can have?
Why does lovemaking seem to change over time to just sex in a marriage?
Where do Turn On's come from?
How can Turn On's become a problem?
How would I know when I'm caught up in my Turn On's?
What is the difference between sex and intimacy?
How does goal-oriented sex shift the whole experience?
If sex wasn't goal oriented, what would it be like?
Don't women want to have sex as well?
How does this orientation of lovemaking change the experience?
How does pure lovemaking affect each partner in their well being?
How does this orientation of love change the relationship?
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Chris Wright is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. He sees clients in the Washington, D.C. area and has telephone clients from around the world. So if you are having difficulty in your relationship, call for a free telephone consultation. Chris was Director of the Human Relations Institute in Houston and with PAIRS International -- training psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists in couple's skills programs. As an innovator in the field, he has developed a unique blend of tools that increase the effectiveness in relationships. He has Masters Degrees from the University of Arizona and Antioch University in Los Angeles.
If sex wasn't goal oriented, what would it be like?
Relationship expert Chris Wright explains what sex could be like if it weren't goal-oriented.
Transcripts
Host: If sex wasn t goal oriented, what would it be like?
Chris Wright: If sex was not goal orientated, it would be completely different; it would be a whole different experience. Remember, what we are looking to do here, is learn how to open up to, particularly for the man, how do attune to these more vulnerable loving energies, how to unleash these much more powerful, more accelerating, more intimate, more fulfilling that energies of pleasure in the experience? That requires being fully present with your partner, with full awareness able to absorb each moment as it enfolds innocently together. Any pressures would get in the way of that, any needs would get in the way of that, any turn-offs would completely overshadow that, any turn-ons would get in the way of that, of that innocence together.
Let me give you an example that would illustrate this. So, this lovemaking is connected more to the heart, more to the feminine energies inside. Deer Abby was a Syndicated Columnist back in the 70s and the 80s, a news paper columnist, who was very, very popular and people, couples, women would write in with questions and she would respond to them. At one point she asked her married women to respond, she asked them, to the married women, What would you prefer, would you prefer to have sexual intercourse, or would you prefer just to cuddle? and what do you think the responses was?
80% of the women responded that they would prefer to cuddle than to have sexual intercourse. Well, I think if we are with a group of men right now and as men we are talking together, I think we would be amazed by that, how could 80% prefer just to be held and cuddled, rather than have sex? It s just unfavorable to most men, how could that be seen as more pleasurable than having sexual intercourse? So, that is what we are up against here.
What are women looking for in a man before they'll have sex?
What are men looking for in woman before they'll have sex?
So are men and women approaching sex from opposite ends of the spectrum?
Are men just less evolved than women when it comes to relationships and sex?
Are there "traps" women fall into when it comes to sex?
What if you're a woman and you haven't had sex with someone new in 15 years or more?
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