Part 3 - How to Have a Successful Relationship: Tools for Resolving Issues

Part 3 - How to Have a Successful Relationship: Tools for Resolving Issues

Resolving Irritations, Frustrations and Light Tensions

Resolving Irritations, Frustrations and Light Tensions

How do we talk about our sensitive issues together?

How do we talk about our sensitive issues together?

What is the most important Element or skill in discussing issues?

What is the most important Element or skill in discussing issues?

Tools for Listening so That You Always Feel Heard

Tools for Listening so That You Always Feel Heard

Effective Resolutions that Respond to Both Person's Needs

Effective Resolutions that Respond to Both Person's Needs

What should we do when we are starting to feel really upset?

What should we do when we are starting to feel really upset?

Can I always de-escalate the pressure?

Can I always de-escalate the pressure?

Part 4 - Lovemaking: Transforming Sex into Lovemaking

Part 4 - Lovemaking: Transforming Sex into Lovemaking

What range of sexual experiences can we have?

What range of sexual experiences can we have?

Why does lovemaking seem to change overtime and become just sex in a marriage?

Why does lovemaking seem to change overtime and become just sex in a marriage?

How does erotic sex become a problem?

How does erotic sex become a problem?

How do Turn On's become a problem?

How do Turn On's become a problem?

How would I know when I'm caught up in my Turn On's?

How would I know when I'm caught up in my Turn On's?

What is the difference between sex and intimacy?

What is the difference between sex and intimacy?

How does goal-oriented sex limit the ecstatic experience?

How does goal-oriented sex limit the ecstatic experience?

If sex wasn't goal oriented, what would it be like?

If sex wasn't goal oriented, what would it be like?

Don't women want to have sex as well?

Don't women want to have sex as well?

How does this orientation of lovemaking change the experience?

How does this orientation of lovemaking change the experience?

How does pure lovemaking affect each partner's lives?

How does pure lovemaking affect each partner's lives?

How does this lovemaking change your relationship together?

How does this lovemaking change your relationship together?

Part 5 - How to Live the Relationship You Dreamed Of

Part 5 - How to Live the Relationship You Dreamed Of

For unhappy couples, could they just be incompatible?

For unhappy couples, could they just be incompatible?

What does it take for a couple to live the relationship they've dreamed of?

What does it take for a couple to live the relationship they've dreamed of?

How to Have a Successful Relationship (Part 4): Spice up Love

How to Have a Successful Relationship (Part 4): Spice up Love

How to Have a Successful Relationship (Part 1)

How to Have a Successful Relationship (Part 1)

Part 3 - How to Have a Successful Relationship: Tools for Resolving Issues

Part 3 - How to Have a Successful Relationship: Tools for Resolving Issues

If we're in love, why can there be so much conflict or tension?

If we're in love, why can there be so much conflict or tension?

Meeting Dates Made Easy

Meeting Dates Made Easy

Prom Etiquette

Prom Etiquette

How to Buy Diamond Jewelry

How to Buy Diamond Jewelry

How to Buy Diamond Stud Earrings

How to Buy Diamond Stud Earrings

How to Buy a Diamond Bracelet

How to Buy a Diamond Bracelet

How to Buy a Diamond Necklace

How to Buy a Diamond Necklace

How to Save Money Buying Diamond Jewelry

How to Save Money Buying Diamond Jewelry

How to Buy Diamond Jewelry Online

How to Buy Diamond Jewelry Online

How to Care For Diamond Jewelry

How to Care For Diamond Jewelry

How to Insure Your Diamond Jewelry

How to Insure Your Diamond Jewelry

How to Trade-up Diamond Jewelry

How to Trade-up Diamond Jewelry

Dating Tips for Shy People

Dating Tips for Shy People

View more ...

Chris Wright

www.pulsarnet.com/cw  

(703) 560-1520

Chris Wright is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. He sees clients in the Washington, D.C. area and has telephone clients from around the world. So if you are having difficulty in your relationship, call for a free telephone consultation. Chris was Director of the Human Relations Institute in Houston and with PAIRS International -- training psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists in couple's skills programs. As an innovator in the field, he has developed a unique blend of tools that increase the effectiveness in relationships. He has Masters Degrees from the University of Arizona and Antioch University in Los Angeles.

How do we talk about our sensitive issues together?

Relationship expert Chris Wright explains how to talk about our sensitive issues.

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Transcripts

Host: How do we talk about our sensitive issues together?

Chris Wright: It is important to discuss, talk about, share about sensitive issues in a way that gets a positive response. As we look again on the road map, on the tension side of road map, we have moved up to scale now, where we want to have a discussion, we want to talk about it and come to a resolution, a solution for this. So there is a number of components here, there are some sharing skills, how do we share about what is coming up in a way that is clean, that is healthy, that is vulnerable. There is listening skills or relating skills, how do we listen in a way that allows us really to get what the person is going through, so that they feel heard.

Then, there is what I call solution solving skills, how do we solve this, how do we resolve this, how do we create solutions around this? And then once we establish a solution, lastly is, how do we reinforce the solution so this does not happen again, a whole new set of skills to look at. So we are going to first talk about the sharing skills. When we go to talk to someone about an issue, from this orientation, we immediately establish in our mind that there is two different operating systems here, that you are different from me and you have a whole different set of pressures and needs and that explains what shows up than I do.

So, both are more valid, both are more equally important. Valid in the sense that both are more driven by pressures and if I had those pressures, I would react that way too. So what we are coming to do here now, is we are coming to talk about something that is bothering me and I want to talk about it in a way that allows you to really open up and see what is going on for me, what this really about for me, what is it like for me living with you or being with you around this specific issue? I really want you to get it; I want you to be impacted by it, so that it actually creates change, so that we resolve it, so it does not keep happening.

Then secondly, I want you to share, I want to discover for you what is really going on for you, what are the pressures that you are confronting inside yourself or out in the world that are keeping you from adjusting your bar to meet this need naturally. So once we discover what these pressures are, then we can see what needs to happen, we can incorporate them into solutions that are much more effective. Also recognize that how will I communicate these needs? Really determines to a larger extent to how well they are responded to. So it s important for me, to learn to share it in a way, that is more heart felt, that makes it safer for you to stay open, so you respond to and experience what I am going through. I also want to share in these vulnerable ways, because it ends up making us feel closer, as a result of having gone through this, more intimate and more connected, as opposed to feeling more distant or feelings have been hurt by the process. The tools that we teach again is about ten elements that we want to be aware of, ten facets of the interaction that we want to gain some skill in. So as the process unfold in a smooth, harmonious way where we become a team working through something together.

How do we find our personality needs using the Enneagram?

How do we find our personality needs using the Enneagram?

What are the nine personality needs in the Enneagram?

What are the nine personality needs in the Enneagram?

How can we learn more about our own Enneagram type and our partners?

How can we learn more about our own Enneagram type and our partners?

What is an example of tensions creating conflict using the Enneagram?

What is an example of tensions creating conflict using the Enneagram?

What does the Enneagram teach about self-awareness?

What does the Enneagram teach about self-awareness?

How can I identify all the areas in my personality where these pressures show up?

How can I identify all the areas in my personality where these pressures show up?

If I don't know what my partner is upset about how can I validate it?

If I don't know what my partner is upset about how can I validate it?

How can we identify what our core personality needs are?

How can we identify what our core personality needs are?

In a conflict, isn't someone right and someone wrong?

In a conflict, isn't someone right and someone wrong?

How do you know when your personality is "Over the Top?"

How do you know when your personality is "Over the Top?"