How does self-awareness of your personality help?
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If we're in love, why can there be so much conflict or tension?
What is an example of tensions creating conflict using the Enneagram?
Is the problem our unmet needs or how we communicate our needs with our partner?
In a conflict, isn't someone right and someone wrong?
What should we do when our needs conflict?
How do we prevent having conflicts with each other?
7 Basic Principles for Concious Conflict Resolution
Self-Awareness of Your Personality is the 1st Principle
What does the Enneagram teach about self-awareness?
How do you know when your personality is "Over the Top?"
Do we need to analyze all the issues from our past?
How does self-awareness of your personality help?
How can I identify all the areas in my personality where these pressures show up?
What if what I want in a conflict doesn't seem over the top?
What do we do with our ego needs?
2nd Principle: No More Criticizing or Blaming!
Doesn't honest criticism get your partner to change?
When something is bothering me, how do I get someone to change?
3rd Principle: Take Responsibility in a Conflict
4th Principle: Relating is the key to harmony when needs conflict
If I don't agree how can I validate my partner?
If I don't know what my partner is upset about how can I validate it?
5th Principle: Both Person's Needs Matter!
6th Principle: Is This the Setting to Really Resolve This?
7th Principle: You're Not Entitled to Freely Dump Your Tensions
How to Have a Successful Relationship (Part 4): Spice up Love
How to Have a Successful Relationship (Part 1)
Part 3 - How to Have a Successful Relationship: Tools for Resolving Issues
If we're in love, why can there be so much conflict or tension?
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Chris Wright is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. He sees clients in the Washington, D.C. area and has telephone clients from around the world. So if you are having difficulty in your relationship, call for a free telephone consultation. Chris was Director of the Human Relations Institute in Houston and with PAIRS International -- training psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists in couple's skills programs. As an innovator in the field, he has developed a unique blend of tools that increase the effectiveness in relationships. He has Masters Degrees from the University of Arizona and Antioch University in Los Angeles.
How does self-awareness of your personality help?
Host: How does self-awareness help? Chris Wright: Self-awareness makes all the difference in a relationship. I mean, if you are self-aware of how your affect the relationship and you are able to freely own them with an intension to come in the balance, that s huge, wow, wouldn t that would be great? If you are not self-aware, I mean, self-awareness gives you power to come in to balance. If you are not self-aware, if you have no clue of how your issues show up, if you just act them, act out your pressures and tensions freely, or you are defensive about it, you are in denial about it, or you use it to intimidate others, I mean, there s no power in that, you stay stuck, you stay stuck in that pattern, you stay stuck in that narrow frame, you stay stuck in those insecurities.
Transcripts
Host: How does self-awareness help? Chris Wright: Self-awareness makes all the difference in a relationship. I mean, if you are self-aware of how your affect the relationship and you are able to freely own them with an intension to come in the balance, that s huge, wow, wouldn t that would be great? If you are not self-aware, I mean, self-awareness gives you power to come in to balance. If you are not self-aware, if you have no clue of how your issues show up, if you just act them, act out your pressures and tensions freely, or you are defensive about it, you are in denial about it, or you use it to intimidate others, I mean, there s no power in that, you stay stuck, you stay stuck in that pattern, you stay stuck in that narrow frame, you stay stuck in those insecurities. There s no ability to grow, there s no ability to change. So self awareness is vital for you to be able to gain that sense of power, being able to see how these pressures show up in your personality. The way you would say it is that the more self-aware you are of how these pressures show up in every facet of your personality, the more power you have to do something about it. Another way of saying that would be, the more you can own how these pressures, how these insecurities show up in your personality, the more you can do something about it. So self-awareness is huge, it makes all the difference.
How do we find our personality needs using the Enneagram?
What are the nine personality needs in the Enneagram?
How can we learn more about our own Enneagram type and our partners?
How can we identify what our core personality needs are?
What is the most important Element or skill in discussing issues?
Tools for Listening so That You Always Feel Heard
Can I always de-escalate the pressure?
Part 5 - How to Live the Relationship You Dreamed Of
For unhappy couples, could they just be incompatible?
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