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Host: Can the term attractiveness be taken out of context?
Gloria MacDonald: I have this experience with a client of mine, very attractive, slim, trim, fit, 47 year old woman, mother of two kids and we introduced her to a man and I really thought this was a fantastic introduction and I really thought they would click. This was Anne s very first introduction and she had not been out on a date for over 15 years. So, she was a little nervous understandably, so they had a phone call and things were going really well in the phone call and Anne asked John, So what is the next step? John said, Well, we get together for a coffee to see if there is any attraction. Well, Anne went ballistic, she was furious, she didn t want a man who just was going to look at her for her body and decide whether or not he liked her because of whether or not he was attracted to her body. She was livid. You see Anne was fighting against that human nature. Poor John was totally taken aback. He figured, Well, of course, we are in this because we are looking for life partner, so there is got to be attraction and to him, he was just saying the obvious. We are going to get together to see if there is any attraction. To John, it didn t necessarily mean just physical, but sure that s going to be part of it and he use the A word the attraction word and that just threw Anne off completely because she interpreted as the man was just going to look at her body. Well, you know again, men can t help it and why should we as women be so upset if a man is looking to be attracted to us. Why are we acting like our body is not a part of who we are? We tend to think, Well, I want a man to see who I am as a person, to see my values and what my personality is and what a wonderful person I am. Well, we can t really disassociate ourselves from our body and to expect a man not to look at that is really completely unrealistic because that is after all the very first thing you see when you meet someone, is their physical appearance.
So again, work with human nature. We know now what a man is looking for so do the best you can possibly do and understand that the man isn t being slimy and he is not just looking for sex. He is hardwired and that s the way it works.
Expert: Gloria MacDonald
Gloria MacDonald is the founder and President of Perfect Partners, The Personal Relationship Executive Search Firm, a highly successful, personalized matchmaking service. Gloria has interviewed hundreds and hundreds of single men and women and has introduced over 1500 couples. She is an expert in the field of dating and relationships, having appeared on a variety of TV and radio shows. She’s the co-author of the More »
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HazelDazel Flag
the ANSWER
is yes ... duh