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How to Prepare your Children for a Divorce

What factors help children cope with their parents' marital breakup?

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John Spiegel
http://www.mediationoffice.net/  

<span>An experienced family-law attorney, John Spiegel has devoted his practice exclusively to family mediation since 1996. John is a graduate of Yale Law School and has been active as a mediation trainer and presenter in Maryland and nationally. He served in 2003 and 2004 as President of the Maryland Council for Dispute Resolution (MCDR), a statewide ADR practitioners’ organization, and in 2005 – 2008 as President of the Montgomery County Divorce Roundtable, an interdisciplinary professional organization. John has published articles on mediation and law reform issues and has lobbied on behalf of these issues before the Maryland General Assembly. In 2001, he received recognition as a Certified Mediator from MCDR. The father of four children, John views mediation as a continuation of his legal work on behalf of children and families.</span>

What factors help children cope with their parents' marital breakup?

 

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Divorce

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Children

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Cope

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Factors

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Parents

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Couple

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Marital

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Break up

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Mediation

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Host: What factors help children cope with there parents marital breakup?

John Spiegel: Well, the key is for parents to approach the end of their marriage as not the end of their relationship, but as a huge transformation in their relationship. So they are no longer going to be intimate partners, lovers, spouses, but they are not going to be parents of their children and they are going to raise these children together for the rest of there lives.

I mean we all know we soon find out that parenting job does not end when children reach the age of maturity; it really is a life long connection. So, the key thing that helps children thrive in the context of their parents' marriage ending and there lives going forward in separate households is the teamwork that the parents will build and it is a new kind of relationship, what therapists often call a co-parenting relationship, a more limited kind of relationship, a work kind of relationship. But it can be a wonderful relationship for the children and also for the parents.

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