Do you need to share a similar background, ideas and ideologies in a relationship?

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  • Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including; The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men's Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), People, and Nirvana magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com, discovery.health.com, aolnews.com, MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni is also the featured relationship coach in The Business And Practice Of Coaching, (published by Norton, September 2005); and is the author of the forward for, Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life, One Touchdown At A Time ( published by Simon and Schuster, November 2005). Toni offers dating and relationship help and advice through her syndicated column, Dear Dating Coach, and her popular monthly newsletter, The Art of Intimacy. From March 2005 until December 2005, she was a weekly contributing commentator (love and dating coach) on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO). Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.

  • Do you need to share a similar background, ideas and ideologies in a relationship?

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  • Transcripts

    Speaker: Do you need to share a similar background, ideas, and ideologies in a relationship?

    Toni Coleman: You don't necessarily have to come from the same background or have all of the same ideologies or ideas. I think it is a great myth in our culture that this kind of whole soulmate thing, that my soulmate is going to look like me, is going to come from same kind of family, is going to have the same kinds of past experience and none of that necessarily true.

    There are many, many couples who come from different nationalities, different religious backgrounds, all kinds of differences and find that they share the same basic values. They share kind of the same goals for the future. The things that matter to one matter to the other and if they are able to connect around those things and have a compatibility in terms of their friendship and perhaps their energy, how they like to spend their time, the things that are important to them and these are the things that really hold a relationship together.

    It is not about being the same and in fact many relationships where people come from very similar backgrounds fall apart and the divorce rate is no less for people from the same background than it is from people from very different backgrounds and different ideologies.

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