Speaker: Must the right chemistry be present immediately to know if he or she is the one?

Toni Coleman: No it doesn't have to be present immediately and in fact that is another great myth in our culture that whole love at first sight, all the locked eyes across the crowded room and they just knew. Certainly, we have all heard stories from grandparents and parents about seeing this person at the train station, or meeting this person at a dance, and they said to their friend that's going to be mother of my children, or that's the guy that I am going to marry and yes that can happen. That being said, for many people it is more of a slow kind of thing. They meet somebody, maybe they are neutral, maybe they don't even really particularly like the person the first time they meet them. There is kind of this edginess between them and then they get to know them and they start connecting, maybe as friends like in Harry Met Sally or they start connection on a variety of -- around some kind of interest or some other way and they start to suddenly feel this infinity with this person.

Wow! This person does get me; wow! I can talk to this person. As they get to know them the person is more attracted to them; they really strike to see them differently and there are many, many, many relationships that began that way and were just friends for awhile and suddenly things just start to happen or perhaps they knew each other through mutual friends and just suddenly one day a light-bulb went on; they were having a conversation and whatever and boom, something happened, it does happen.