Can you create chemistry in an area where it's lacking?
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Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including; The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men's Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), People, and Nirvana magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com, discovery.health.com, aolnews.com, MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni is also the featured relationship coach in “The Business And Practice Of Coaching,” (published by Norton, September 2005); and is the author of the forward for,” Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life, One Touchdown At A Time” ( published by Simon and Schuster, November 2005). Toni offers dating and relationship help and advice through her syndicated column, "Dear Dating Coach," and her popular monthly newsletter, "The Art of Intimacy." From March 2005 until December 2005, she was a weekly contributing commentator (love and dating coach) on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO). Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.
Can you create chemistry in an area where it's lacking?
This expert: 87,810 views
This series: 22,401 views
Transcripts
Speaker: Can you create chemistry in an area where it's lacking?
Toni Coleman: This is something that comes up a lot with people. Question I certainly get in off a lot is how do you make it happen? If you feel like you have some really positive things going, but there is just one little area that, how do you still get, how do you create it, and the answer to that question would be it again depends upon the couple. If there is for insistence a lacking or a shortcoming and the physical attraction on the part of one partner or the other, perhaps they can work on that together. There could be things in terms of how they relate sexually, that could be worked on, there could be things in their backgrounds that impact their ability to sort of be themselves sexually and sort of be open with each other, something like that can certainly we worked with and very often couples seek out that kind of help.
It's a friendship thing or inability to really sort of relate to one another; sometimes what is helpful to people is to work on learning how to be a better listener or learning how to be more open with the other person because that's what that person is saying they need, so working to their communication skills and then perhaps that's enough. There is enough of a kind of inability to relate nonverbally, but verbally, there is just something lacking, which of course we hear a lot with men and women. So sometimes it's just a question of learning good communication skills.
In terms of the intellectual stimulation, that I think often a harder one. Your level of interest, your personality, your intensity those things are kind of innate and we don't usually see people really work on those together, but with the other two there is something that can be done. That being said, both people really have to be open to that and have to want to do that together.
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