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How to Know if Your Relationship has Keeper Chemistry

Can chemistry grow over time in a relationship?

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  • Toni Coleman
    http://www.consum-mate.com/index.html  
    (703) 847-1768

    Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including; The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men's Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), People, and Nirvana magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com, discovery.health.com, aolnews.com, MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni is also the featured relationship coach in The Business And Practice Of Coaching, (published by Norton, September 2005); and is the author of the forward for, Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life, One Touchdown At A Time ( published by Simon and Schuster, November 2005). Toni offers dating and relationship help and advice through her syndicated column, Dear Dating Coach, and her popular monthly newsletter, The Art of Intimacy. From March 2005 until December 2005, she was a weekly contributing commentator (love and dating coach) on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO). Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.

  • Can chemistry grow over time in a relationship?

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  • Transcripts

    Speaker: Can chemistry grow over time in a relationship?

    Toni Coleman: Yes, chemistry can absolutely grow over time in a relationship and it usually does. When we first meet, the first stage of a relationship is always about physical attraction, is that PEA, which is a chemical that we release, that gives us that dizzying feeling and then the PEA creates a chemistry called dopamine that gives us that wanting to sort of connect and cuddle and be physically connected.

    So at the beginning of a relationship, there is just artiness, sparks are flying and the chemicals are pulsing through the veins and yet there isn't really a knowing of each other or comfort level with each other or that friendship or that spiritual affinity, those are the things that grow over time and the sexual peace doesn't -- as people often think, it doesn't stop being. It kind of changes form; there is more of dopamine that creates that wanting to be close, that connecting with each other, that affection, and less of the intense emotion that can never be sustained.

    Then what happens as you get into that more intimate part of the relationship is that you share more, you become more open with each other, you are able to be more vulnerable with one another and then that kind of goes into really being able to kind explore the world together, balance ideas of each other, find new interest together and that's the intellectual peace.

    All of those things should and do grow over time and it's a red flag if they don't.

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