How do you deal with co-workers, bosses, clients and others who know about the relationship?

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Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including; The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men's Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), People, and Nirvana magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com, discovery.health.com, aolnews.com, MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni is also the featured relationship coach in “The Business And Practice Of Coaching,” (published by Norton, September 2005); and is the author of the forward for,” Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life, One Touchdown At A Time” ( published by Simon and Schuster, November 2005). Toni offers dating and relationship help and advice through her syndicated column, "Dear Dating Coach," and her popular monthly newsletter, "The Art of Intimacy." From March 2005 until December 2005, she was a weekly contributing commentator (love and dating coach) on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO). Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.

How do you deal with co-workers, bosses, clients and others who know about the relationship?

 

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Speaker: How do you deal with coworkers, bosses, clients and others who know about the relationship?

Toni Coleman: I think the first thing the people always need to be sensitive to, whether they share with these people your feeling or whether they have problem with what people are feeling about their relationship. They still need to be sensitive to the fact that they are engaged in this personal relationship and therefore it's going to change a little bit the relationships with people around them.

If you have a coworker who is working with you and your significant other and they have the problem with your significant other, they are not going to be able to talk to you about that; they are not going feel as free to share their feelings. It's not going to be the same kind of openness and there is always an awareness that you are with this person, that the two of you have this special relationship.

So it does change the other relationships a little bit and folks really, who are in these relationships need to be sensitive. They need to acknowledge that that's very important, that's the first thing. If they do acknowledge that without lying blame or getting annoyed or feeling like they should just get over it or just ignore it, they can just really embrace it and they need to be sensitive to that. Make sure that there not showing affection toward one another in front of their coworkers.

Avoid talk of what we did together this weekend unless it's something real kind of general. Don't talk about your sex life in the office. People do that, but I think if you are dating each other, that's probably not a good idea. Keep the certain topics just and always be tuning into the vibes you are getting back and the body language of all of the coworkers around you, what people are really feeling about this, what your boss is feeling about it and if people are discrete, sensitive and allow others to have their feeling and to be respectful of them, usually works out okay.

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