Are there any guidelines for setting up the first meeting when dating online?

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Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including; The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men's Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), People, and Nirvana magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com, discovery.health.com, aolnews.com, MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni is also the featured relationship coach in “The Business And Practice Of Coaching,” (published by Norton, September 2005); and is the author of the forward for,” Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life, One Touchdown At A Time” ( published by Simon and Schuster, November 2005). Toni offers dating and relationship help and advice through her syndicated column, "Dear Dating Coach," and her popular monthly newsletter, "The Art of Intimacy." From March 2005 until December 2005, she was a weekly contributing commentator (love and dating coach) on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO). Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.

Are there any guidelines for setting up the first meeting when dating online?

 

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Host: Do you have any guidelines for setting up the first meeting?

Toni Coleman: Absolutely, that first meeting is going to be very important, especially, since you met a stranger online and you really do not know anything about one another, the first thing is always going to be safety. I encourage people that at that point if they have already shared phone numbers and last names then they have some basic information about each other. They might even have some sense of where each other lives. So, what I recommend is that they never, even if it has been going well so far, they never get picked up at their home or they do not agree to meet at either one of their homes. Instead they should meet in a public place. Because of the first meeting and you have a picture of this person but you have not experienced them, first hand in person, I tell them to keep it short. I think a great first meeting is over coffee, something simple like that, perhaps lunch, something that is easy. If it is coffee or lunch and it is not going well, it is a very easy, easy out for either one of the people to say, "Oh, I got to get back to the office," or "I got to run because I am meeting friends later tonight.

" If it is going really well, then you can say, "Gee, this is fun. Do you want to go get something to eat together?

" you can make it into an early dinner kind of thing. So, it gives you that flexibility and it makes you easier on both people and it is just a little more relaxed, it is a more relaxed environment. So, you do not plan to be at each other's home, you do not plan this big, long and bold date, do not plan something that is going to require somebody or both people spending a lot of money or investing a lot of time. Keep it simple, keep it easy, keep it fun.

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