What if they ask for more time or suggest counseling?

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Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including; The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men's Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), People, and Nirvana magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com, discovery.health.com, aolnews.com, MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni is also the featured relationship coach in “The Business And Practice Of Coaching,” (published by Norton, September 2005); and is the author of the forward for,” Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life, One Touchdown At A Time” ( published by Simon and Schuster, November 2005). Toni offers dating and relationship help and advice through her syndicated column, "Dear Dating Coach," and her popular monthly newsletter, "The Art of Intimacy." From March 2005 until December 2005, she was a weekly contributing commentator (love and dating coach) on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO). Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.

What if they ask for more time or suggest counseling?

 

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Host: What if they ask for more time or suggest counseling?

Toni Coleman: If your hearts truly not into it, if you have truly made up your mind and this is something that you are absolutely sure that you want, then I would say that agreeing to go at counseling is just another way of letting them down easily. It holds out false hope and there is something dishonest about it.

Now you are thinking, I am going to make this easy or for them when in fact you are closing them or hurting or pain because they are going to be putting a great deal of energy and effort and resources into trying to fix something .

You have already decided it can't be fixed. That being sad if you decide that, you are really not sure if perhaps there was an issue that you never knew quite how to bring up or you tried to bring up and you feel like the other person just didn't respond or didn't hear you and counseling could help, and this is someone who you are having a difficult time saying goodbye to, then that's a great opportunity.

I think what ends up happening too often is folks wait until it's too late and then the other person suggest counseling. So I always tell people if you are having problems in a relationship bring it up earlier and then you would never get to that point.

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