Are there any "rules" about how long two people should date before deciding on marriage?

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Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including; The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men's Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), People, and Nirvana magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com, discovery.health.com, aolnews.com, MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni is also the featured relationship coach in “The Business And Practice Of Coaching,” (published by Norton, September 2005); and is the author of the forward for,” Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life, One Touchdown At A Time” ( published by Simon and Schuster, November 2005). Toni offers dating and relationship help and advice through her syndicated column, "Dear Dating Coach," and her popular monthly newsletter, "The Art of Intimacy." From March 2005 until December 2005, she was a weekly contributing commentator (love and dating coach) on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO). Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.

Are there any "rules" about how long two people should date before deciding on marriage?

 

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Toni Coleman: Hi! I am Toni Coleman and I am a dating and relationship coach and now we are going talk about, how to know if you are really ready for marriage?

Host: Are there any rules about how long two people should date before deciding on marriage. Toni Coleman: There are really aren't any rules. There are sort of ways of thinking within different cultures about, how long you should date someone, how long you should be engaged, what is really appropriate in terms of, how well you should know each other and how much you should know about each other, before you that big step? I think it really depends and varies from couple to couple on how fast this relationship goes. How much time you spent together, where you are at with your life and develop mentally where people are at, how much experience they have had, how season they are, how much they really know about relationships? So there are lot of variables that come into play.

We have what we call stages in a relationship and the first stage is that before getting to know each other where you are not really dealing with serious issues. Some people can move through the first stage in a matter of weeks. Other people it's three months five months depending upon the couple. So it's really more when you have moved into these stages where you are talking about the more difficult issues. You are opening yourselves up with intimacy and really sharing. You are negotiating hard stuff. You are okay that disagree with other person and to show those sides your thinking and when you have really moved into those stages and you really hit some of the hard stuff and dealt with that pretty well, and learned how to be together in that way and worked on your communication. Then you are at a good place to be thinking about the next step or a more serious stuff.

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