Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including; The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men's Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), People, and Nirvana magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com, discovery.health.com, aolnews.com, MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni is also the featured relationship coach in “The Business And Practice Of Coaching,” (published by Norton, September 2005); and is the author of the forward for,” Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life, One Touchdown At A Time” ( published by Simon and Schuster, November 2005). Toni offers dating and relationship help and advice through her syndicated column, "Dear Dating Coach," and her popular monthly newsletter, "The Art of Intimacy." From March 2005 until December 2005, she was a weekly contributing commentator (love and dating coach) on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO). Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.
What are the important elements of relationship readiness?
Relationship expert Toni Coleman lists elements of a marriage-ready relationship.
This expert: 562,645 views
Host: What are the important elements of relationship readiness?
Toni Coleman: Some of the important elements of relationship readiness are things like having resolved past conflicts or traumas things from your perhaps childhood or young adulthood, that could be still impacting you in here and now. They will get in the way of having a healthy relationship. This would also include past relationships. If there somebody who really haven't gotten over. Someone that it continues to present a problem for you today because of the way you are feeling because of something that went on which you never dealt with, those kinds of things are important. It also very important as part of relationship readiness to really have a sense of what it is that you must have in a relationship and what it is that you absolutely can't live without and lot of people make jokes about people that walk around with their made shopping lists and I am not really suggesting something that's specific. It's more the upper and the lower parameters. That must have and can't live with and anything in between you are going to find depending on the individual is something not a deal breaker. It's something that you can live with. So that's also very important to really know yourself. Some of the other ones are things like really kind of having a handle on what your goals are and what it is that you want for your future, because when you are with somebody you got maybe some of the attraction pieces, the friendship pieces, but do you really want the same things. Are you really going to have very different lifestyle desires and choices? Perhaps one of you wants to live in the country and the other one wants to live in city or somebody is just has their heart set on having a big family and the other person really doesn't want parent or doesn't want children.
Now, those things are going to come up later in your relationship, but you really have to have some sense. You don't have to be hard and fast with it but some sense of how you feel about those kinds of things, because as you move through a relationship and you are talking about those kinds of things, it will help you asses is this the person that I really can go all the way with.